By Beth Janczak, LCSW
"I should try harder," "I should be a better mom" "I should look like/be more like her, "I should be/do/try___(Fill in the blank). Sound familiar?
"Should-ing" yourself is a trap that is easy to fall into when we are busy, or when we feel overwhelmed, but usually leads to a messy thought pattern.
Creating a list of "shoulds" can increase feelings of guilt, anxiety, and unrealistic expectations. None of which help us grow, or feel at peace.
When this thought pattern creeps in, its important to stop, take a breath, and ask yourself "is this thought true? Realistic? Necessary?" Remind yourself of what is true, where you have succeeded that day, and what must get done (vs what should). Finally, remember to grant yourself grace, that you doing more than you know.
Stop shoulding yourself, mama.
Beth Janczak, LCSW is the co-owner of Lakeview Counseling and Consulting. She is a firm believer that mental health matters, and works to break the stigma surrounding seeking help. She loves her two children, her educator husband, and all things water. Follow her @the_mama_therapist on Instagram and Facebook.