We Are in This Together
By Ana Maroon, LCPC
We are all in this together, that’s what the “global” in global pandemic means to me. We are all going through this, and no one has experienced anything like it. There is no right or wrong way to feel or act in a situation we’ve never been in before. I’ve had a lot of parents ask me what they should do, how they should act, what should they say. “Is it ok to be anxious?” they ask. My answer? Yes, it’s absolutely ok to be anxious. It’s ok to be overwhelmed. A lot of us are trying to work from home and homeschool at the same time. I personally never thought I’d be trying to work a full-time job and teach 3 different grade levels to 4 kids as well as running a household, caring for pets, and caring for myself. There is definitely no training manual for this!
For me it is comforting to have the knowledge that I am not alone. I have friends, family, and coworkers all going through the same thing. I am also keeping up with my self-care by trying some new hobbies. Scratch art is a new one for me as well as putting together models. I’ve gotten glue all over the place, but it’s still fun! I would say that now is definitely a good time to try some new things you haven’t had time for in the past.
It’s also a good time to strengthen some relationships as well. During a shared experience like this, although difficult, can often lead to people feeling closer and more connected to each other. Let’s take advantage of that. Maybe you have a friend or family member that you just never make enough time for, now is a good time to reach out.
At a time like this when so much is out of our control it’s best to focus on what we do have in our power to control like our behaviors, how we treat each other, and how we offer support to each other. Let’s be kind to each other and to ourselves because like I have said, we are all in this together.
Tips for Managing Anxiety During a Health Crisis
By Beth Janczak, LCSW
COVID-19. A term none of us had even heard of until recently, let alone know how it might impact us, is now here and is seriously causing a great deal of stress and disruption. If you are someone who might already experience anxiety, a global health crisis could be the situation that pushes your anxiety into overdrive. While it’s great to be aware and prepared, I’d like to share some simple steps you can take to help keep your anxiety under control.
1) Know your limits: Ok I admit it. I’m a total news junkie. However, too much news or information can cause anxiety to sky rocket. Living in a 24 hour news cycle, while helpful, can also be too much of a good thing. It’s ok to change your habits around information consumption. Maybe it makes sense to stick to your local news (versus 24 hour cable news), or limit the amount of time you spend online learning about this pandemic. Give yourself permission to tell your loved ones that you would like to talk about something else, or simply change the subject. Knowing your limit and holding that boundary can help reduce anxious feelings.
2) Understand your own risk: When something like a global pandemic happens, it can be so scary, and it can feel like everyone is in immediate danger. However, it’s important to know the reality of your own situation. Both the CDC and the Illinois Department of Health have a lot of useful information, as well as what to do to help lower your risk. Knowing your own risks, can help give you back control over what feels like an out of control situation.
3) Control what you can control: While many things are out of our control, there are many simple things you can do to control what is happening around you. Maybe meal planning and stocking up on extra pantry items is your jam. Social distancing, a fancy term for choosing when to hang back from events, could help you feel more in control. And the simplest? Wash your hands frequently. (Here are some fun songs to help get you to 20 seconds). When things seem out of control, remind yourself you have a lot more control over things than you may think, and while washing your hands, list specifically what you do have control over. This will help keep you grounded.
4) Keep routines: We learned on Friday that our schools will be closed for at least the next two weeks, and that the best thing we can do is stay home and limit time with others. So now, faced with a LOT of unstructured family time, We have decided to try to keep some routine and structure going to keep the peace. In reality, keeping your own rhythm, routines, and structure will provide a sense of normalcy, as well as keep anxiety at bay. This doesn’t mean schedule every minute of every day, but it does mean setting times to help the day flow. In my house, we are aiming for a balance between free time (read screen time, let’s be real), and activities, such as arts and crafts, family reading time, set meal times, etc. Knowing what’s coming next can be a game changer for anxious thoughts.
5) Take a Break: I know right now not only our news, but our news feeds are filled with an overwhelming amount of information and opinions. Here me when I say it’s time to walk away. Taking a break does not make you less informed, or is something to feel guilty about. Watch a movie, call a friend, do something you find enjoyable. This might be a great time to limit or break up with social media. Giving yourself permission to break up or limit social media can help you reset, and give your anxiety a bit of a buffer too. As you hear the term “self-quarantine” on repeat, remember its ok to institute your own self-quarantine from social media and news. With that time away from the noise comes rest and relaxation and those are some of the best ways to lower anxiety.
And above all else, if you need to talk to someone, whether it be a family member, a friend, or your friendly therapist, make sure you do. Know you aren’t alone, and that there is always someone here who wants to listen and help.
Self-care for Parents…it’s a Real Thing!
By Ana Maroon
Last week I went with my step-son and his mother to his doctor appointment. His doctor asked what he
does for fun after school, she asked if he plays video games or sports. He told her that he likes to play
video games with his brother and she then asked what kind “do you play Xbox?” she asked. He then
looked directly at me, gave a wide grin and stated “No! I do not play Xbox, Ana plays Xbox. I am not
allowed to touch it!” His doctor smiled, laughed, and said… “that…is…awesome.”
My initial reaction in that moment was to defend myself stating that he has a Nintendo and a tablet and
other things to play with etc. but you know what? I am proud the Xbox is mine! It’s a small boundary
that I have and have been able to maintain while running a 6 person household 2-5 days a week…not
that the job is every really done. There is never really off time whether you are a parent or step-parent.
There are doctor visits, school conferences, practices, and the constant maintenance of “routine and
consistency”. I have worked with so many parents who consider self-care to be showering once a week
or the occasional date night every other month, but I challenge them to think bigger…by thinking
smaller. Self-Care does not have to be some big glorious excursion, it can be 10 minutes of journaling, 30 minutes of cardio (I know that’s a tough one), 5 minutes of complete silence after bedtime, or even 20
minutes playing a game on the Xbox.
Self-care for parents is about being realistic, setting realistic goals for yourself daily. I ask my clients to
try to map out 10 minutes a day that they can dedicate to self-care for mind or body (both if they are
ambitious). The secret is to be genuinely real about it, set realistic expectations based on your family
and schedule. Remind yourself that it is ok to set boundaries with your family and keep some things for
yourself whether it be an Xbox One or the candy bar you keep hidden in the vegetable drawer. Allow
yourself those few guilt free minutes of clarity daily, it’ll do wonders in the long run!
By: Amy Hensley, LCSW
With February in full swing; hearts, candy, and valentines are ever-present when I am walking into stores. I love February, because it’s as it is Kindness Month. Which got me thinking, kindness should be an all the time thing we practice rather than a one-month event.
Kindness starts with one, which made me more mindful and aware of how the seemingly small things we do, can create an invisible ripple effect of kindness. It can be as simple as a smile to someone, greeting others when you walk into your workplace, writing a note appreciating a coworker, paying for someone's cup of coffee behind you.
It can be so easy to get caught up in daily routines and be on “autopilot". A personal goal that I have made, and I challenge you to try this month, is to be more mindful of how to incorporate some of these small, kind acts into the daily routine. Here a few below:
· Write a friendly sticky note
· Text someone in the morning or at night
· Thank someone weekly
· Donate something you do not use anymore
"The world is full of kind people..if you can't find one, be one" author unknown.